Talking to Your Children About Faith, Dating, and Marriage

Start the conversation early, model a godly marriage, and guide your children with biblical wisdom at every stage of life.

When the children are still minors and under the household of parents, parents have the spiritual responsibility to raise up their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph 6:4) This responsibility is especially on the father who is the head of the household and a shepherd of his wife and children. This means that this subject should be included in the multitude of subjects about which parents should initiate conversation, study Scripture and pray; fathers should take the leadership.

For Christian parents with young children – It is entirely appropriate to speak about this subject as soon as it is appropriate to speak about family, marriage and sex. Children at a very young age already role-play “family” and so one can start talking about the centrality of our faith in Jesus as it relates to whom they choose to marry even if their understanding in minimum. The key is to normalize spiritual and biblical conversations throughout their whole upbringing in age-appropriate ways.

For those with teenager – Continue to have conversations with your teenagers. As parents, you’ll need to be well-versed and well-studied in all the Scriptures surrounding this subject as well as be aware of common objections to the Biblical standard. Most importantly, the best method is to demonstrate a godly marriage and the joy that both you and your spouse have as you seek the Lord; show that many joys can only be had in a marriage between two Christians.

For those with adult children (age 19 and up) – Parents would do well to take the role of a friend and an available advisor. It is advisable not to use the same authoritative parental approach as you did when your children were younger. However, it is appropriate to share your view from Scripture and particularly the reasons why God’s way leads us to a better and happier marriage and family life.

The important note is for Christian parents to take up this spiritual responsibility of discipling and teaching Scripture to your children as soon as possible. If you have been neglecting this responsibility so far, I advise that you confess your negligence to God in the name of Jesus for forgiveness and to ask God to give you strength, faith and discipline to begin implementing spiritual discipleship in your home.

(If your child has started to date a non-Christian, you may need to consult a pastor or a church leader for guidance and support.)