What Suffering People Need the Most

Below is a picture of my dear grandma (my dad's mom); I call her Ah Mah, Cantonese for Grandma. This picture was taken when we were still in Hong Kong with my mom holding me; I look to be about close to my son's current age, around 3 years old. My grandma died when I was 9 years old. I loved her. Coincidentally, that was around the same time when I came to Christ.

I did a pastoral visitation recently for a young man who refused to speak with anybody after the death of a close relative. Frankly speaking, because he didn't open up to even his parents or friends, I was surprised that he was willing to speak with me. One of the connections we had was my sharing about the loss of my grandma whom I still regularly think about and still get teary eyed when I speak about her (as I also did at that moment). He opened up. He said he was sorry for my loss. This was a small breakthrough for him to open up his heart, to vent and truly grieve.

In the midst of people's real suffering and pain, they don't need platitudes nor answers nor even Bible truths (not when the pain is so raw, but later when they are ready to listen, yes). Instead, what they need is presence, a listening ear and especially empathy. And these only come from a person who is truly reflective of his/her own pain, feeling it, and thinking about how to treat others as one would have wanted others to treat them. Better yet, someone who not only acknowledges his own pain but has received healing and hope through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.